Sarah and Matthew had been dating for two years when Matthew got accepted to a graduate program across the country. Rather than break up, they decided to try to make long-distance work. Like 3 million other American couples navigating long-distance relationships (LDRs), they were willing to put in the extra effort to go the distance. Though LDRs present logistical and emotional challenges, commitment, communication, and creativity can keep couples connected despite the miles between them.
The Challenges
Communication Barriers
Long-distance couples have to contend with communication barriers that geographically close couples do not. Between school, work, and other obligations, couples may find themselves reduced to rapid-fire text messages rather than real conversations. Websites like https://goldenbride.net/ understand these challenges and offer tools and tips to help bridge this gap. Six-hour time differences can make synchronizing schedules feel next to impossible. Missing each other’s calls leads to playing “phone tag” and feeling disconnected. Limited face time can also impact emotional intimacy and the ability to support each other during difficult times.
Missing Important Events
While a video call can convey news of a promotion at work or tough midterm exams, it’s a poor substitute for celebrating together. Couples in LDRs have to grapple with missing concerts, birthday parties, holidays with extended family, and simple weekends lounging around together. Relying solely on digital communication makes it tough to be fully immersed in your partner’s world and everyday highs and lows. Geographic distance can translate into feeling out of the loop.
Lack of Physical Intimacy
Most couples in LDRs go extended periods without in-person contact which can be taxing, especially for couples used to frequent physical affection. Humans have a fundamental need for touch that fosters bonding, security, and intimacy in relationships. Without this, LDRs may battle feelings of emotional distance and disconnectedness. While digital intimacy has its benefits, it still falls short of the affection couples crave via touch. Partners separated by miles need to put in extra effort to make up for this lack.
Making it Work
Dedicated Communication
Setting routine times for communicating is key, even if it is the same 15 minutes before bed every night. Brief daily check-ins prevent couples from feeling disconnected if unforeseen circumstances derail longer conversations. Scheduling digital dates protects relationship bonding time. Apps like Between facilitate calendar syncing and reminders for staying connected.
Closing the Gap
Care packages with favorite treats, handwritten letters, custom playlists, and even wearing a significant other’s sweater can make couples feel emotionally closer. Sharing photos through Snapchat brings your partner into everyday happenings. Video calls simulate sitting together while having coffee, making dinner in each other’s kitchens, or channel surfing on a lazy weekend.
Countdown to Visits
Having milestone events like visits or vacations together marked on the calendar infuses normal days with extra meaning. Having that countdown motivating you helps the weeks and months until the next visit pass more smoothly. Booking tickets early allows for anticipation – and ensures precious in-person time is protected against work or school encroaching.
Using Technology to Your Benefit
Digital Double Dates
Watching movies and TV shows together via apps like Scener and Netflix Party provides a fun bonding activity. Extension Chrome lets you stream anything on Chrome to a partner. Playing video games gives way to healthy competition and team building. Sites like Games2Gether facilitate playing games ranging from Scrabble to card games, backgammon, and chess.
Getting Creative
Apps like Between facilitate leaving video messages, shared playlists, voice messages, and quizzes. Couple Game allows partners to share date ideas and relationship questions. Sites like Rabbit allow you to browse the web together; it feels like looking over your partner’s shoulder. Shared docs allow you to have drawing sessions or jot notes to each other while having video call double dates with other long-distance friendship pairs.
Establishing an End Goal
Being on the same page about your long-term trajectory is key for weathering the storms of distance. Discuss what is feasible in terms of ultimately closing the gap and cohabitating in the same location. Check-in periodically to make sure you are both still on the same trajectory professionally and personally when it comes to your relationship roadmap.
Planning In-Person Meetups
Focus on when you’ll reunite next, even if it is months down the line. Reuniting helps rekindle intimacy and provides a counting-down point. Set aside a relationship maintenance fund to facilitate seeing each other. Airlines like JetBlue and Southwest allow points pooling between partners. Take advantage of long holiday weekends to piggyback extra reunion time. Exchange journals recording your days to read together later.
Seeking Outside Support
Long-Distance Support Networks
Connect with other long-distance couples who uniquely understand the challenges faced. They can share actionable tips on navigating separation successfully. Online forums through Reddit and support sites like ldrvillage.com provide community. Discussing struggles without constantly leaning on your partner provides perspective.
Counseling
Therapists equip couples with exercises and frameworks for productively addressing issues distance creates before unhappiness spirals. Counseling provides tools for identifying needs, enhancing communication, and overcoming obstacles. BetterHelp and Regain provide access to licensed counselors over text, phone, or video. Leverage counseling early, don’t wait until problems mushroom or feel unsurmountable.
Conclusion
While long-distance relationships require effort and planning, they can go the distance. Prioritizing consistent communication, intimacy building, and celebrating milestone visits help couples stay bonded despite physical separation. Creatively leveraging technology to feel involved in each other’s worlds also smooths the emotional gaps miles create. With the right mindset and relationship toolbox, couples can keep love alive across any amount of miles.