Fairy tales and romantic comedies tell us that people fall in love and live happily ever after! They give the impression that love alone will be enough!
But in the real world love isn’t enough to build a good relationship. It takes so much more.
The problem is that fairy tales and rom coms aren’t real life and going into a relationship thinking that you won’t ever disagree is a recipe for disaster! The reality is that EVEN the best relationships will have some type of conflict or disagreement!
So, what does it really take to build a good relationship?
Communication is the foundation of any relationship!
You need to have open communication where you are able to talk and listen to the other person equally. You both need to be able to talk about how you are feeling and be able to empathise with each other.
Both parties want to be heard and seen to have a healthy relationship.
One common problem I find with communication between men and women is that they might as well be talking differFbuildent languages.
Women talk to vent and work out what they are feeling. Men don’t!
Men don’t tend to talk about their problems unless they are seeking expert advice. Instead, they often spend time alone thinking and working out their solutions.
So, when a woman wants to vent, the man feels that she is coming to them for expert advice! She’s not! It is just her way of processing her feelings and all she needs is for you to listen.
The difference in the way both communicate gets in the way. For example, if the women woman is venting and the man steps in to give her a solution, she feels unheard! She didn’t want a solution; she just needed to be heard!
When you know that you communicate differently it definitely builds a good relationship.
Spending Time Together
To build a good relationship you need to make sure you spend time talking to each other.
Did you know that average couple only spends approximately ten minutes talking to each other each day? And most of that time is about their to-do-lists! The real honest truth is most couples spend more time on social media than they do talking to each other.
You can see how that doesn’t build a good relationship! On the flip side, the thing that will build a good relationship is prioritising time for each other each day.
Making time for Each Other Can Be Simple, So, Make it simple
It is important to priories spending time together. Put it in your calendar and stick to it. Make it a special time that you don’t allow ANYONE else to interrupt.
It is essential to set aside time to spend with each other because you only have a relationship when you are relating to each other. A relationship is not an object or something you have it is something that you do!
So why not try this simple way to make more time for each other.
1. When you say goodbye, give each other a kiss and hug. When you come home do the same thing. This is simple and doesn’t take very long but it does build a good relationship. I recommend saying, ‘I love you. Because you can never say those 3 words enough.
2. Each day take the time to say thank you to your partner for something they have done, even if it is something that you feel they should do! Appreciation feels wonderful.
3. Each day tell your partner something you like about them. Give them a genuine compliment. Compliments are often rationed in a relationship – don’t!
4. Go on one date per week where you are just spending time together, the two of you, without anyone else. Take turns planning something different to do and make sure you don’t complain at what your partner has chosen to do.
5. Set aside time once a week to talk about your relationship. It only needs to be an hour per week and this is different to the date. The date is about having fun and enjoying each other’s company. The once a week chat is about talking about what you need to.